“It’s not you, it’s me”…almost everyone has had to deal with that phrase at some point in their lives.
Ending a relationship and living through a heartbreak is inevitable…one of the perks of having a soul.
However, the process in itself can be a chore, given all the possible ways it can go terribly wrong.
Most people resort to the modern practice of doing the deed via text (which is not so cool) or they just keep mute, hoping the relationship will someday fizzle into non-existence, however some who are more mature prefer to handle the situation face to face.
While a confrontation is surely the best move, having the perfect location lessens the blow and certainly makes life a lot easier. If you are in Lagos and are looking for the best spot to put an end to a relationship or engagement, Jovago.com, Africa’s no 1 online hotel booking service has got you covered.
Here are our picks for the best places break-up with someone in Lagos.
A fancy hospital located on Lagos Island and in close proximity to Mega Plaza, Reddignton Hospital is a good spot for a break-up.
Call your mate to meet-up at the hospital, make sure you frame it as just a friendly visit, the randomness of the request will throw him or her off the scent of a potential break-up. When they eventually show up, restrict yourself to the reception or areas without surgical tools lying around and then make your confession.
While it may seem irrational, breaking up in a hospital can definitely make the process smooth and easy. The ‘dumpee’ will be surrounded by the sick and unhealthy which will help them put things in perspective – they might have been ditched and their hearts broken, but they are still healthy and alive.
Also, if the breakup completely overwhelms them and they suffer from extreme panic attack or collapse, there will be plenty of cute doctors or nurses to help make that transition smoother.
Breaking up with someone in a nightclub might sound cliché, but it works every time. The low lighting at Quilox will help you evade the hateful gaze of your now ‘ex’. Also, no one will hear the spiteful words your former lover may throw at you over the loud roar of music.
In addition, this club is always crammed with a lot of single Lagosians looking to hook up or meet someone, therefore your ex will stand a high chance of getting on the rebound as quickly as you possible.
Quilox is certainly best for those looking to avoid the guilt that comes along with looking into the sad eyes of the breakup victim, the location has everything you need.
One of the largest grocery shops located in different areas around the city, Shoprite is a very good spot to have a pleasant, relationship-ending conversation with a mate.
Pick one of the many nooks or isles in this store and hopefully, the fact that there are cameras and other people around, will deter any argument from getting too loud. Also, your mate cannot lash out and break or smash anything in anger as they would have to pay for it.
The pros to this break up is that not only is it really public and quite safe, Shoprite is usually located in close proximity to restaurants, café and bars that can offer solace in form of food and drink to the mate that was just dumped.
Omenka art gallery:
One of CP-AFRICA’s top ten contemporary art galleries in West Africa, Omenka Art gallery is also a top option for best places to break up with someone in Lagos. The pressures of social norms are on your side for this location, because no one wants to make scene in an art gallery.
Like most galleries, Omenka has an unspoken “keep things quiet” rule, and actually, it can be easier to break the news over a famous painting or prestigious artifact on display knowing your partner will most likely be kicked out if they get loud. Again, the serene classy environment can curb their urge to make an outburst and encourage them to keep it together.
While your newest ‘ex’ may not appreciate your choice of location, seeing as you are basically silencing your partner from speaking their feelings and expressing their emotions, but if you’re looking for the best way to prevent a scene, Omenka is the way to go. Note that they also have a restaurant that can take care of all of your stress needs after the act.
Murtala Mohammed Airport (MMI or MM2)
Lagos airports are notoriously transient, full of people coming and going, however, its high ceilings and numerous cafes are the perfect spot to deplane from your relationship.
It certainly offers the perfect mix of privacy and safety and any person will think twice about creating a scene to avoid epic embarrassment; considering the crowd that crams the airport at all times.
In case your mate decides to lash out inordinately, the security at the airport will quickly intervene, saving you from possible danger.
While it sounds awful to wait until someone is about to board a plane to dump them, breaking things off at an airport allows you and the person literally close the door on one chapter of their lives and start afresh with a another. They can take the time on their trip to absorb the break up, move on and prepare their mind for a true new beginning.