When you encounter a quarrel between two ladies and you hear one of them holler on top of her voice, “ashawo, husband snatcher!” or “leave my husband for me,” you will quickly know that the aggrieved lady has come face to face with the lady dating her husband.
In most cases, the accused will try to save her face with expressions like, “see me see trouble o, what is this woman talking about?” or “leave me alone, you don’t know how to take good care of your husband that is why he’s dating me.”
But come to think of it, why should a single lady contemplate dating a married man knowing fully well that the man is another woman’s husband and would no doubt give all his attention to his wife and children? Why would she not instead date a single man that she could later get married to in future? These and more are some of the questions that usually bestir the mind when issues of this nature come to the fore.
Friday Magazine findings show that most ladies befriend married men because of the care and attention the men give to them. A large percentage of these ladies who are students and unemployed graduates depend on the married men to provide for their needs at the end of the month when the men should have been paid their salary.
Many more even prefer to date businessmen or political appointees, where the patronage is higher as they have more money to take them out for shopping and buy them expensive things like handsets and jewelries.
According to Lucy Eze (not her real name), a hair dresser at the Wadata area of Makurdi, Benue State capital, the married men already have the experience of catering for women compared to the unmarried who are mostly unemployed and are in the habit of lying to their girl friends whenever issues on welfare crop up.
“Although I don’t do it but some of my friends that do it say they do it because of the attention the men give to them. Like one of my friends who use to tell me that her boy friend buys all her food stuffs and takes her for shopping whenever he takes his salary at the end of every month.”
Eze also said that most ladies befriend married men with the hope that they could become second wives. She said the ladies capitalise on the missing links in the life of the men they date and strive to fill them and at the end of the day win the hearts of the men to become second wives.
“You know as much as I do that sometimes one woman will not be able to do everything that a man wants. Take the case of a woman that leaves home early to the office or business place only to return late to the house as an example. Whether you like it or not, the man may be forced to look outside for somebody to do what his legitimate wife cannot do in the house like cooking and giving him attention.
“So, these ladies are conscious of these deficiencies in many homes and therefore prefer to befriend the married men and ‘give them love’ so that they will be seen as true lovers. There are cases of some who succeed in pushing the legitimate wives out of their husbands’ houses,” Eze added.
Apart from that, Friday Magazine gathered that most ladies are tired of staying single or jumping from one bed to another and therefore make insidious moves towards married men with the hope of either getting married or having children for them as the single men they are dating are unemployed and cannot fend for a child.
According to a lady who did not want her identity on print, “a lady friend pleaded with me to find any married man who is in dire need of having children so that she can settle down with him, even if it means staying outside the main family house.”
Her friend’s approach, she said “accounts for why we see many married men renting houses for their girlfriends in order to have children outside the matrimonial home.”
This practice, she said has often resulted in crises and untold hardship for the men who she said are torn between giving attention to the legitimate home and the illegitimate home.
“My brother, this thing I am telling you is causing problem in several homes as the money that is meant for the upkeep of the family is often expended on the needs of these single ladies.
Other ladies also befriend married men out of share waywardness or nymphomaniacal disposition. This group of ladies are believed to have sworn never to let go any man that is seen to be handsome and therefore make advances towards them.
“For this type of women, any man goes, that is, if the man is capable of taking them to bed they don’t really bother whether he can take care of them or not. What they want is sex, no more no less.

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