Nowadays, we often hear cases of broken relationships. Husbands and wives divorce on daily basis over trivial issues. The trend has put many families in shambles. Some analysts are of the view that conflict is part of human nature and the inability of most people in relationship to manage conflict metamorphose to the rampant cases of divorce and broken relationship. However, there are ways relationships can be maintained and sustained devoid of these challenges.
Most relationships have crumbled because of lack of gratitude. Gratitude is an antidote in keeping your relationship flourishing. Word of appreciation and affirmation are very necessary in a relationship/marriage. ‘Thank you’ works wonders in the hearts of spouses. Learn to appreciate little kindness done to you by your spouse. It does not matter how big or little the act of kindness. It is the thoughtfulness in the heart of the person expressing it that matters so much. Please try to always voice out your praises and appreciation because spoken words are powerful. An anonymous philosopher once said, ‘while some bad words can come like the piercing of sword on someone’s heart and be like rain falling on a parched ground.
People should realize that they have an indispensable contribution to make in the lives of others around him. Husbands take for granted their unappreciative wives and vice verse. When appreciation is lacking in a relationship/marriage, each of them starts craving for appreciation outside and this brings about misunderstanding. There is cordiality and brightness about husbands and wives who created opportunities to recognize theirs. Spouses’ attractiveness and their faithfulness at least to some extent may pay off to sit and ask yourself what ten things your spouse has done in the past week to make life different and enjoyable.
Note that the keeping of secrets about weaknesses and problems facing your relationship/marriage are equally important. Appreciation is important in a relationship. Appreciate the odd jobs your partner did in the house and compliment his/her accomplishments; or when your partner makes a special effort to do favour for another, it should be appreciated first before you can go further to understand what is behind the favour.
Gratitude seems to stimulate the life force of a relationship/marriage and keeps life moving. Also, endeavour to be sincere in showing appreciation. Appreciation motivates spouses to be responsible and to succeed in their ambition. It helps them to remain stable, faithful and loving to each other. It can keep back the skip in their eyes, and the determination in their hearts.
Cares and soft touches has important role to play in sustaining a relationship/marriage. This is not necessary contact but movements that bring a couple/spouse into intimate circle no one else is allowed to enter. You need touch, and care for each other. Some are alone in their relationship/marriage; in the sense that, their lover has lost all desire for caring and touch. The holding of hands while walking down the streets sometimes speaks many things about the relationship. If you start the day on good footing, it can keep the whole day sweet and fresh.
Moreso, spouses have emotional needs each of which most spouses fail to recognize. Wives need to hear tender words from their husbands, just as sharing exciting moment together is very necessary. For the wife, love means a permanent, high level of affection. To be tender is to ask your partner/spouse how she wishes to be loved instead of loving her the way that is convenient to you. A social commentator said and I quote, “Tenderness is the sensitivity one undertakes when one asks oneself what will make her feel high today. Do not dwell on assumption or act according to your own instinct. Find out what she wants and just give her that. When couples express tender loving care to each other through physical touches, it adds more life and excitement to their love making and it makes it flow naturally. They do not need to appeal to each other before they can have a good time. With this practice, their hearts and emotion are always glued together.
You have to cuddle your relationship/marriage for it to keep going. Try to read the body language of your partner always because it has a lot to do in terms of discussions and dealings with him/her. Your partner may be going through emotional trauma which he /she may want to keep secret but the way you handle him/her may calm the situation.
In all, be kind to your partner because action speaks volumes. If you truly love your spouse, you need to show it in the little things you do to alleviate their pains and make life sweeter to them. Help each other out in terms of needs. There is a story of two love birds; one was in the bush and the other on the tree by the road side. The one in the bush was calling out to the one on the road side saying, “I love you” repeatedly and the one on the road responded, “Show it”. This underscores that love needs to be expressed not only with words but even more actions.
Finally, make time to listen to your partner/ soul mate. Learn to hear her not only in words but her heart. On the other hand, it is necessary that you welcome your husband with enthusiasm. This makes the man understands that he is the king of the house. Spouses should be able to understand what interest their partner.
A psychologist, Mr. Edeh Nwokoporo explained that relationship works in the minds. According to him, when the minds of the two parties in a relationship cannot understand each other at every point in time, they hardly work in harmony. They will always find fault on actions and activities of each other.
“For marriage/ relationship to be successful it needs efforts and contribution of the two partners. Their minds must work together to achieve cordiality. Some relationships break because of lack of compromise. There must be compromise between couples/spouses for the relationship to flourish,” he said.
Mr. Nwokoporo however, admitted that no relationship can ever exist without misunderstanding/conflict; but how it is handled is the utmost importance. He frowned at the situation where people bring third parties to their love lives. He noted that what kills relationship mostly is a third party which according to him might be their parents, neighbours or friends, etc.


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