being a virgin was a highly cherished attribute. It was a mark of piety, integrity, spiritual elegance and a demonstration of faith in God. It was a virtuous act that stood one out among the motley of persons in the society.
Even in traditional societies, virginity was celebrated, especially for a nubile found to have restrained herself from sexual indulgence prior to marriage. The nubile found in that state brought honour and respect to her family and parents in particular. Such was the pride attached to virginity that a young woman who opted to consort with anyone before being legally married was not only humiliated but, in some cultures, such wayward young woman was publicly stoned to death. Stoning the recalcitrant young woman to death was a legally prescribed punishment in the Jewish nation, as was the case among many African, European and Asian countries.
Albeit, most traditional religions and the other dominant faiths prescribe and advocate strict adherence to virginity as a form of spirituality. Today’s valuation of virginity has greatly dipped such that very little consideration is placed on being a virgin, even by the most fastidious religious organisations.
In essence, it seems that virginity is an outdated standard, a culture or way of life that is largely considered an act of a by-gone era. A way of life now mostly used to deride and shame some that still find it attractive as a mode of piety. Such persons are dismissed as ‘naïve’, ‘native’, ‘Jewman’, ‘chic-less’ and highly gullible ones lacking in the robust mark of sexual initiation. Being a virgin now seems punitive, inelegant and humiliating. What irony!
In modern times, the definition of virginity has become subjective. Some have understood it to be heterosexual vaginal intercourse, yet others think oral sex doesn’t count, while some insist unless there is penile penetration, one’s virginity remains intact.
For others, sex is sex whether fondling with one’s sexual organs or actual indulgence in the sacred act.
Nonetheless, a dictionary defines a virgin as ‘pure and chaste’, one who is sexually untouched, in his or her original state, unbroken sexually. Virginity, a noun version of the word refers to ‘a state of being a virgin, a virgin condition’. It follows then, that virginity is the state of a person who has never engaged in sexual intercourse, especially in the case of unmarried females, associated with notions of personal purity, honor and worth.
But is such value still cherished today?
According to Mrs. Regina Oga, the concept of virginity had traditionally involved sexual abstinence before marriage, and then to engage in sexual acts only with the marriage partner. It used to involve moral or religious issues and had consequences in terms of social status and in interpersonal relationships. Although, virginity had social implications as well as significant legal implications in some societies in the past, little emphasis is placed on virginity in this modern time in most society.
In fact, this form of spiritual purity is so relegated that even in societies where the concept was the holistic yardstick with which one’s personality and integrity were measured, the people no longer place premium on its value. Unlike in the past, it has no legal consequences in these societies today.
Originally, the term virgin only referred to sexually inexperienced women, but has evolved to encompass a range of definitions, as found in traditional, modern, and ethical concepts. Heterosexual individuals may or may not consider loss of virginity to occur only through penile-vaginal penetration, while people of other sexual orientations often include oral sex, anal sex or definitions of virginity loss. There are varying understandings as to which types of sexual activities result in loss of virginity.
Mrs. Queen Omeri believes that the traditional view is that virginity is only lost through vaginal penetration by the penis, consensual or non-consensual, and that acts of oral sex, anal sex, mutual masturbation or other forms of non-penetrative sex do not result in loss of virginity. A person who engages in such acts with no history of having engaged in vaginal intercourse is often regarded as still being a virgin.
This, though, sharply contrasts with the view of some gay or lesbians. They believe such acts as resulting in loss of virginity. Some gay regard penile-anal penetration as resulting in loss of virginity, but not oral sex or non-penetrative sex, and lesbians may regard oral sex or fingering as loss of virginity. Some lesbians who debate the traditional definition consider whether or not non-penile forms of vaginal penetration constitute virginity loss, while other gay men and lesbians assert that in some studies mutual masturbation is their definition of losing one’s virginity.
A girl’s virginity is a precious ‘temple’, her sacred self, a treasure belt, whose valuation is sublime and needs be treated with the piety that it deserves.
According to Mrs Omeri, “taking a girl’s virginity is a popular male fantasy, but if they stopped to consider the reality of the situation, the fantasy might start to look more like a nightmare. It may be an ego boost to imagine being a girl’s first and taking her precious virginity, bookmarking you in the annexes of her mind forever. However, there are aspects of making her a woman that could be less than pleasurable. So, before you unlock that chastity belt, get an idea of what you’re getting yourself into.”
Modern arguments against the persistence of abstinence from sex until marriage believe such strongly held view is meant to make sex appear dirty and the woman unworthy of natural pleasure. They see it as another irritant male chivalry meant solely to enslave women and deprived them of their personality and independence.
In this wise, Mrs. Faith Osita thinks making women feel dirty or somehow stained by sex has been a key player in conservative efforts to roll back women’s rights and maintain traditional gender roles.
One study says, “Hopefully, this study is an authoritative, unambiguous sign that the strategy is failing. We already know, of course, that abstinence-only education was a huge public health failure and that virginity pledges don’t keep that up for too long, either. And now that young people are online and more active than ever, they’re less likely to fall for purity talking points.”
In conclusion, some strongly feel that holding on to antiquated notions of sexuality that make men feel confused and women feel dirty, obsessing over whether or not young people have had sex instead of whether or not they’re healthy is rather negative.
Nonetheless, a good number believe that virginity was a divine command and that failure to adhere to it has brought dire untold health and emotion problems. The moral depravity today, the ever increasing sexually transmitted diseases and sharp decline in value are direct consequences of failure to heed godly instruction.
Mrs Juliet says, “Looking back now, being a virgin actually is a blessing in disguise. The fact that you never had sex gives you confidence, self worth, you are not desperately after a guy to whom you have messed up with and therefore, feel compelled to get married just for self preservation.
“Having never experienced the pleasures of sex, you will be satisfied pushing the limits without having, or wanting, to go all the way. A freedom only innocence offers. So don’t be in a huge hurry to catch up to your sex cap ding girlfriends.
“Right now, being a virgin may feel like a heavy burden, but being sexually active is undoubtedly accompanied by much heavier consequences. Why not retain your innocence just a little bit longer.”
Looking for where the virgins are is not difficult or stressful because they are everywhere all over the world, but the problem is how to identify them.


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