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Parents and career choice for their children

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Parents and career choice for their children

Should Parents choose career pathway for their children, Our Correspondent JOY IMISI takes a look into this parenting pattern.

CAREER pathway has posed as a major bone of contention between children and their parents, in most cases, parents tend to stand as a major influence in their children’s career development and career decision making.

Parents want their children to find happiness and success in life and one factor which influences happiness and success is career choice.

Research indicates that when students feel supported and loved by their parents, they have more confidence in their own ability to research on careers and to choose one that would be interesting and exciting.

In some other cases, parents go as far as persuading their wards to pursue a career by imposing their own goals on to their children or seeing their child’s accomplishments as a reflection on themselves.

I heard of a story about a man, Mr. Frank, not real name, who had just completed a course in law, he was called to bar as he graduated as the best student of his set in law school.

According to the story, on the day of his induction, his father, mother and some other family members were in attendance to celebrate his success and achievement, with all smiles and congratulatory messages flying left and rights.

Suddenly, Frank burst into tears in the presence of everyone and remained uncontrollable, his family began to plead with him and to inquire of the reason behind his outburst on his day of celebration. After many pleas, Frank spoke up directly addressing his father, “I have finally made you happy today but I am a very sad man, collect your certificate because I have completed your request and lived your dream, but now I need to live mine. All I ever wanted was to become a musician but you would not hear of it. It is however, time for me to go live my dream. Take your certificate so that I can put away this sorrow and burden I have carried for six years, I want to go and live my dreams.

This is a case among many others that have shown how parents’ influence their children as some argue that it is the nature of parents to want the best for their children and what is the most important is the best education for their children. Like the likes of Falz and his daddy, Femi Falana, Charly Boy and his dad, the list is endless.

However, it is a little bit more complicated when it comes to deciding what is best for their children’s education. It is very difficult to decide for the children’s education path especially when they are entering college or university, because at their adolescent age most children have not discovered their true identity and interest yet.

A lot of students nowadays do not have any satisfactory answer when they were asked why they chose a particular course or subject in university. Most of them will probably answer, because it is what their parents tell them to learn and this situation is really a concern which people need to put their thoughts into.

For university students, they should know why they want to take a particular course in order for them to have a clear life goal and ardour to achieve it. They should not hide behind their parents’ shadow and just blindly follow what their parents think they should do. It is vital for parents not to make final decision for their children’s field of studies due to the generation gap, dissimilar passion and also higher probability of inaccurate judgment.

Choosing a career is an extremely important decision that impacts an individual’s entire future, we spoke to some parents and this was their reactions.

According to Madam Alheri, a mother of three, she said, ‘’Parents should let their children pick their own career because children would love to do things that they love and parents can’t decide their career for them because the career being pick might not be the one that their children would love. Every child has their own talents so I think it is right for children to pick their own career.’’

John, a young mathematics teacher said, ‘‘I believe parents should allow their children to choose their own career. They have developed skills that can help them into their future career. Parents shouldn’t stop kids if they want to go for a certain job, etc. We all have a life and we should live it to the fullest with a career we love.’’

As for Kingsley he says, ‘‘I think it is important to encourage children to aspire towards whatever they would like to be and have a variety of different options to choose from. That way, they can end up getting a satisfactory job, if not a dream job. To have your kids be pleased with their job, whether it is a security guard, nurse, attorney, artist, teacher, police officer, as long as they enjoy their job, then they will generally have happier, fuller lives.

‘‘They won’t have to complain about how their job is tiring, inflexible, or unstable. Instead, they will lead great lives, at least in the career arena, and this good mood resulting from a good job will most likely lead and positively affect other areas of their life. A parent’s main goal is to make their kids feel happy and live a good life. Therefore, let the kid be what he wants to be, if that makes him/her pleased, and don’t interfere with it.

‘‘On the other hand, if a parent does not allow a child to be what he or she aspires or dreams of being, that can pressure the kid to please the parent, and end up getting a job the child will detests.’’

We can however, conclude that many people do not enjoy life as much when they dislike their job, and sometimes this can turn into depression. No matter how prestigious or stable a job can seem to a parent, it may not appeal to the kid, who might later despair over ending up in the wrong job because of their parents’ and not being able to easily get out to pursue their dream career.

Stable job does not equal happy job. Prestigious job does not equal happy job. What your child chooses and would like to pursue equals is the solution to a long, enjoyable career. Parents should allow their kids to follow their own path and find the career that is right for them.

QUOTE
I have finally made you happy today but I am a very sad man, collect your certificate because I have completed your request and lived your dream, but now I need to live mine.

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