There is a natural order in marriage. It begins with two people
falling in love, believing that they are the most important person in the world to each other. As children come along, they need to be cherished and loved, but never more than your spouse.
Then when they are grown and gone, it is back to just two of you again. When you both remain in love, it provides stability and legacy for the children.
When people get married and before they have kids, as couples, they have time, energy, and money to devote to their relationship. You go out to dinner and catch fun without a second thought.
You can have sex any time anywhere without worrying if a baby will wake up or a toddler will come through the door without knocking.
Once you have a child, couples forget what being loved and honored by their partner feels like. Many of the couples with younger children find themselves exhausted, angry, and disconnected in their marriage. This is often because the woman focuses on the kids while the husband throws himself into his works.
She then gives less and less energy to her spouse, which makes him disconnect further and further. Your spouse should be your first priority, even before your children. That does not mean you love them enough to keep your priorities in the right order.
Your children need to see how marriage works in the way you handle your marriage.
If you push your spouse down on your list of priorities, your children will believe that marriage is not very important. On the other hand, if they see you honouring your spouse with that number one spot, they will feel a love and security that can come in no other way.
Putting your spouse first does not diminish the love your children feel from you. It enhances it as long as you show love to them as well it creates a feeling of romance in
your marriage. This way you know that you matter to your spouse, and that is romantic. Keeping romance alive in marriage is crucial.
When your marriage is going well, it improves every other part of your life. If you have to spend time worrying about your
marriage, it will affect your productivity at work.
Even more importantly, if you spend time fretting over marital
problems, you have less time to devote to your children. There is only so much time and space in your life so keeping the marriage strong opens up more avenues for your relationship with your children to flourish.
Keeping your spouse in that number one spot is what helps make that happen. Respect is important to a man, and he does not feel that when the children consistently come first. Most men, unlike most women, associate love with actions instead of with feelings. When a woman places her children above her husband, her actions say to him that she loves the children more that she loves him.
Though not as vocal about it as women, men desire to be deeply loved by their wives. It is difficult for a man to see his wife cherish the children, but treat him in a cool or casual manner.
One of the man’s greatest needs is companionship, and he usually expects to find this in his relationship with his wife. Men appreciate being appreciated. Though not majority, some men stated that when their wives put their children first, they felt a sense of resentment and anger, some felt this way toward their children, others towards their wives.
For very positive thought, you have of your children, think of two for your husband. Being noticing the many things he does. Men enjoy praise.
Often this comes easily with children, but is more difficult with
the husbands .Grant him some gracious generosity that you so readily give your kids. Surprise him once a week with a random act of kindness.
Share with your children things you admire about their father. This lets them see how important your marriage is to you. It has been said dozens of times that the way Mom sees Dad is the greatest influence on how the children see him.
Many women excel at communicating their children’s strengths, but not their husband’s. When women talk about their husbands, they tend to talk about their weaknesses and inabilities. If you do this, please stop. Commit to sharing with others only those things that build your husband up.
Words are infectious and should be chosen wisely.
Make your bedroom interesting and private. It shows the children that you value each other’s company as well. Burn a fragrant candle so the room smells inviting and warm. Our attitudes speak volumes to our husbands.
If your husband is not meeting your emotional needs, you will try to fulfil these needs through your kids or elsewhere, which is
not healthy or positive for marriage or for your kids. Your husband will also reach outside the marriage to get his emotional and physical needs met.
Remember, your esteem as a partner is not the same as your esteem as a parent, but they do directly impact each
other. You are not just setting an example as a mother and father, but even more importantly, your children are watching you to see what being a good wife and husband means.
The way you see and present each other in your home is important. Placing your spouse before your children can be possible when there is trust between the two of you. Set each other’s, as your first priority is relevant. This does not stop you from loving your children dearly. Build your marriage to be strong and serve as model for them.


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