IF you’ve just been broken up with, you may be wondering what happened. When a man breaks up with his partner, there could be any number of reasons for the split. Something about your behavior could be reason or it could be something completely out of your control. Here are some common reasons he may have broken up with you.
Did you push really hard for the relationship? Most men do not like to feel pressured into a serious relationship when they’re not ready. If you continued to rally for a relationship and push for commitment even after sensing some hesitance, you may be partly responsible for the breakup. Life coach Christine Hassler says putting pressure on a man can cause him to feel confused about the relationship. Hassler said: This is not an uncommon thing I hear from men. All of a sudden, their [partners] declare that the relationship hits some kind of marker and a proposal should be happening. The guy then begins to feel all kinds of pressure, guilt and confusion … please for his sake and yours stop pressuring your guy. And I do not just mean about marriage, stop pressuring him to do anything. Not only does it not work to your advantage in the long run – it’s also not loving.
Men need to feel respected almost as much or even more than feeling loved. If you often approach him disrespectfully, this will make him feel not only angry but also less valued. Author and relationship expert Dr. Emerson Eggerichs said both men and women need respect and love, but men react differently when they do not feel respected. Eggerichs proposes that a lack of love and respect in a relationship is the root cause for many breakups. “Without love from him, she reacts without respect; without respect from her, he reacts without love,” said Eggerichs. “We asked 7,000 people this question: when you are in a conflict with your spouse or significant other, do you feel unloved or disrespected? The report indicates that 83 percent of the men said ‘disrespected’ and 72 percent of the women said, ‘unloved.’ Though we all need love and respect equally, the felt need differs during conflict.”
Incompatibility will result in plenty of arguments. If there is no peace in your relationship, it will eventually lead to relationship breakdown. Wildly different lifestyles, mismatched values, and different ways of managing money can ruin your relationship. Compatibility is key to helping a union thrive. But don’t worry if you and your partner don’t match up exactly. It isn’t necessary to be compatible in every aspect of your lives. Dr. Elliot D. Cohen said compatibility exists on a spectrum. “Compatibility is not all-or-nothing; rather, it admits of degrees on a continuum from incompatible to highly compatible. Thus you can be more or less compatible with your mate. So, the question addressed here is not merely whether you are compatible but instead how compatible,” said Cohen.
If you and your partner got together very soon after he broke up with someone else, this was more than likely a rebound relationship. Unfortunately, you may have been doomed from the start. Relationship expert Evan Marc Katz says even though many rebounds don’t work out, sometimes they do. Katz said: There are lots of people – men and women alike – who are eager to find love again directly after their painful breakup. They think they’re over it. They want to be ready. They dive into a new relationship. And then, when it comes time to step things up, they bail because they weren’t really ready to be committed for life. Not yet. These are not bad people; they are driven by their emotions and are doing the best they can. Is it generally a risky bet to date someone on the rebound? Sure. But do people on the rebound fall in love every day? You betcha.
If you think your love might be cheating on you, more often than not, you’re probably right. But before you reach for the scissors and start cutting up clothes and planning how to burn the house down, take a few moments to make sure your gut instinct is really leading you in the right direction. While it may not be immediately obvious, there are some tell-tale signs of infidelity. Here are a few red flags that indicate your gut feeling might be right.
If your love suddenly begins to fuss in the mirror and takes hours to pick out the perfect underwear, you may have a problem brewing. Also pay attention to purchases. Is your honey shelling out major cash on a new wardrobe for stylish clothes that you never see when the two of you go out? You should start questioning where these clothes are actually being worn and why it’s such an obsession lately. “Gals, is he suddenly showering and shaving every day when it used to be a few times a week? Guys, has your lady suddenly started grooming or shaping “down there” when she previously left it alone? It might be a sign they are cheating,” certified dating coach Hunt Ethridge told The Cheat Sheet.
If your partner is suddenly disinterested in sex — or the opposite — always ready to take off their clothes and go all in, you should take a closer look at this behavior. Why is he or she suddenly not interested or suddenly insatiable? An unusual change in sex drive needs to be explored. “…Has your sex life dramatically changed? Either you’re doing it more or a whole lot less? Often, when a spouse cheats, their libido increases and it can be a pleasant surprise at first. Or, perhaps your spouse shuts down sexually towards you. They avoid intimacy. These are both tell-tale signs that may point to infidelity. A less obvious sign would be if your spouse changes a habit or interest. Maybe they start working out at the gym every day. Or they start listening to a new style of music for no apparent reason. If there’s a curious new behavior that nags at your gut, you may want to tune in and listen,” according to Lisa Steadman, relationship expert and author of It’s a breakup Not a breakdown said.
Another behavior change to look out for: The sudden urge to shower immediately upon getting home. If your significant other makes a bee line for the shower without so much as a glance or kiss hello, something is up. And something is definitely wrong if you were once invited to join, but now your advances are rebuffed. “If something feels ‘off’ to you in your relationship, don’t ignore this and try to bury your concerns or wait it out. Don’t stand by and say nothing because you’re scared. Ignorance might feel more pleasant (if not blissful) in the moment, but it will almost always cost you in the long run,” said relationship expert Lisa McKay.
Is your love’s cell phone constantly ringing? Be suspicious if you notice your guy or girl sneaking off to take mysterious calls, or if he or she frequently ignores the phone whenever it rings in your presence. If you want to know what’s going on, you can ask, but you might not get a straight answer. “Your partner receives regular texts, emails, or sexy photos from a ‘friend’ you weren’t aware of. Suddenly, they’re conducting mysterious calls in the other room and when you ask who called, the answer is… ‘no one,’ ‘wrong number, ‘it’s business,’ or ‘why do you ask?” marriage and family therapist Sheri Meyers writes in The Huffington Post.
Culled from cheat.com

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