One of the most popular search queries is how to maintain a relationship with a husband or wife. This is a negative trend, which must be eliminated. Family life is a long road on which difficulties are encountered as well. And sometimes, there are too much of them. Even the strongest marriages give slack under the weight of unsolved problems. Do you know, what’s the matter? We have the answer: most people prefer to give up nor fight for their own happiness. Everyone is afraid of difficulties. It’s easier to pack your stuff, to divide property, to break down life of children and to scatter in different corners. But there is another way to solve the problem for strong-willed people and for those, who think about the future. Thanks for the information to our peers from Maria Dating.
What is the cause of the discord in the relationship?
Most often, no one of the spouses can name a specific problem that caused a divorce. The absurdity of this situation causes laughter through tears, but it is so. The fact is that problems have a property to accumulate. Over time they form a giant snowball that can destroy even the warmest romantic relationship. People just harbor grievances, cherish them and nurture them until they turn into bloodthirsty monsters. Misunderstandings, disputes, attempts to prove their worth at any cost – these are the enemies you need to know in person.
Family psychologists have been working on solving the problem for a long time. Here are the most common causes of the disorder in the family:
- Excessive idealization of the partner in the beginning of the relationship
- Inattention to the feelings and needs of the spouse
- Attempts by one of the spouses to CONFLICTLY dominate
- Emotional problems caused by constant stress
Pretty variegated list, is not it? Most likely, some of this list items are quite applicable to your life. Some of them spoils your relationship, which recently could be called ideal, right? So it’s time to take the first step. It consists of recognizing the problem. It’s all like in the club of anonymous alcoholics. As soon as you realize that the problem is not hidden in the shortcomings of the personality of your partner (and that’s what 90% of people who are on the verge of divorce think), but in everyday things, you can say that things have moved from a dead end. Have you already looked at yourself in the mirror and honestly confessed that the problem is in the list above? Then you can go to the next part of this article.
Tips of psychologists for couples on the brink of divorce
It is very important to overcome the first impulse. The searing desire to disperse almost never retains its power for long. You must have enough patience and let the emotions calm down, like the waves of a raging ocean.
First of all, deal with conflicts. Surely it was not yesterday when your life began to deteriorate, and it’s silly to believe that you can fix everything in a couple of days. But we must start from small things. Each partner should be given the opportunity to speak out and be heard. Speak out your problems, tell your partner that you are not comfortable with the relationship and what would you like to do.
You should understand your inner motives, understand why you need marriage and why it is important for you to maintain a relationship. It may take time to understand this. Be ready to think through various options of your future and leave your spouse time for reflection.
Remember that you can only change yourself. Therefore, each partner will deal with themselves. This is not so simple and, perhaps, you will need the help of a family psychologist.
Add to life bright colors, positive, pleasant moments. Diversify every moment of your life with something that will please you and your partner. Relax together, go on a date or buy each other pleasant surprises.
Believe me, it is not so difficult to maintain a relationship as it seems at first glance. The main thing is your personal motivation and unlimited desire to go on through life, holding hands with your loved one.