Most ladies go into marriage for different reasons and they only prepare for wedding and not the marriage itself. They forget that wedding can last for at most three days while marriage is a life time journey. So, they go into it totally unprepared and not informed about how to manage a home.
You need to think about marriage before you go into it because if you contemplate marriage and just jump into it, there will be problems as many challenges are calling for your attention.
Management is one of the major duties of a wife. You must know how to manage your husband and home better than anyone. This kind of management means making him maintain his sanity when angry, which normally will not happen: And making him to do things (good ones) that ordinarily he would not do. It is just bringing out the best out of him.
Each time there is a disagreement between you and your husband, let your managerial skill take over. Do not start nagging or become insulting. Try to be calm and handle things maturely. Be willing to say I’m sorry. The best way to handle a man is to be quiet and this also gives you the chance to think about your actions and words while the man is battling with himself to unravel the mystery behind your silence.
No equality in marriage, God has made it so. You can fight for equality at your place of work or anywhere, but not the home. When you get home, become conscious that you are subject to your husband and you are not equal to him, whether you like it or not. He will always want to remind you about it, if he senses you resent his authority and headship.
You are his help mate. People wrongly quote religious Books like the Bible saying ‘help mate’ instead of ‘help meet’. That is, you are created and designed to support, help and assist him, not lord over him.
You cannot control him. It does not happen automatically, after seeing your virtues and he is convinced about your personality, then, he will now give you control of the home, which must not be abused. This also takes time or even years to achieve.
Interestingly this is so because he realises that you struggled with him possibly from the scratch when he had nothing and now it is payback time.
It is payback time or marriage remuneration, in the sense that, you can now take charge of the family affairs and make key decisions even relating to your family.
But unfortunately, at this level, admirers may begin to impugn undesirable comments and impressions that the man is a weakling or possibly that he has been charmed by the woman, forgetting that you, the wife, have worked hard and humbly to win his heart and get his approval.
According to Mr. Ayodele, (not real name) a teacher in Akure, Ondo state, he spoke to the Nigerian Pilot Sunday on ways to achieving a successful home and who is superior in marriage between the man and the woman.
According to him, the man does not have to take the wife’s advice or suggestion because an advice can be taken or discarded. Whatever decision he makes, he is accountable for it. A man is not a robot, so do not force your ideals or ideas on him or expect him to always agree with you. You are the one accountable to him and should obey him.
He stated that submitting to ones husband means obeying him. “Like what he likes, eat what he eats and do what he wants. It will not be easy, but you must try to adjust. It is part of getting married’’.
He spoke about “Understanding in marriage: which he says is very important. “If you want to stay long in that marriage, you must understand your husband. He is not a crazy person; he will try to understand you too and try to please you. Understand him first, after which someday, he will start doing same.
He wants you to respect his family even when he knows they are difficult people. Never try separating a man from his family. It backfires most times. Instead, try to understand them, win them and make your husband see how important you are to him. Help him discover that he should make you respect his family and his family respects you.
Continuing in his admonition, he urged women in marriage today, to see their husbands as their babies. “When you see them this way, they will no longer make you angry or make you think of divorce and no matter how bad your child is, you cannot leave him. Seeing him as a mature man will make you put too many expectations on him that he cannot humanly meet.
Set example for him to follow. If you want him to be honest and truthful, no matter what, then you do it first. When there is disagreement between both of you, be first to try to resolve it. And after seeing your values and knowing that your contributions and advice are better than his, he allows you to make decisions for the family.
What you get from him, is not automatic. You earn his respect. He could respect you because you are his wife, but if you want a lasting respect, you will work hard to get it.
Marriage is not just sex, having children or someone to pay your bills; it is hard work that affects lives and destiny, so, you need to be careful about your action in your marriage, he further counsels.

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