Why do husbands flirt with maids? — Nigerian Pilot News
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Why do husbands flirt with maids?

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What will cause a husband to specifically prefer his house worker as a substitute to the woman he has spent so much time, money and energy to make his wife. Our correspondent JOY IMISI examines the reasons behind this trend.
It is pertinent that we start from the basics which it that a husband is a male human who has declared before family and friends that he has forsaken all other women to be with one woman who will be his only sexual partner till he leaves the surface of the earth.
According to rumours, men are believed to dread the idea of having one partner, so the idea and principles of marriage appears like a mirage where partners break the rule under little provocation or temptation.
Cases of married men sleeping with house helps are not alien to us. Even if this trend does not make it to the media daily, it still happens. This is a trend that has led to a lot of broken marriages in our society. Some have argued that most women have become too busy in a bid to provide for their family, they are working class wives who come home very tired and late, making them incapable to meeting up with their husbands needs, leading their husbands into the welcoming arms of the every diligent house helps.
Adding that, the maid does basically everything especially, being that madam is a career woman. The cook serves and even irons the clothes of the mister. Men are attracted to ‘homely’ women.
Others have stated that some men have lost interest in their wives who no longer put in efforts on their looks, the makeup, foundation, nice perfume have disappeared since they said I do.
It actually appears like the women are at that top on the list at fault for hiring young and attractive house-helps.
We are well aware of the fact that today’s house-help are young, educated, ambitious and stylish ladies, some are even gradates who could not secure a white collar job and decided to go into home services.
However, we do not see this as a justification for men to stray. I mean, there will always be young and beautiful women, they do not disappear from the world once a man gets married.
Puzzled by this, we asked a few husbands who were willing to speak with us, and here are some reasons men gave for their erring ways.
We spoke to Mr Kunle who stated that there was no justification for a man to flirt with the house maid but noted that most ‘modern women’ are not interested with pampering their men and showing them a lot of attention, which ironically the housemaids do. According to him, today’s women are said to attend to their own needs and leave the maid to attend to their husband’s needs thereby creating a room for closeness and affection. Because as human beings, by nature we tend to love a person that takes care of us, so he shows his appreciation by taking her to bed. He also added that some women are very disrespectful and unsubmissive, while the maid is polite, respectful and obedient. Men conveniently forget that the house help is paid for this services and he is naturally drawn towards her, which might in the long run lead to the act.
Felix a father of two said, African men are polygamous in nature so the idea of stick to one woman alone appears abnormally. It is however tougher when the man is left to the care of the house help.
He noted that it will be consensual if the maid is a lady that is uncultured and exposed, because the man must have made some promises to her, she will easily give into the man’s advances as this will increase her financial status and give her a sense of pride.
Felix however stated that husbands must learn to control themselves, they must be disciplined and respect the santity of marriage because and sin committed by a person will not go unpunished.
We also spoke with a female pastor in Apo resettlement, who pleaded to remain anonymous.
‘‘It is very wrong for a married man to have a sexual relationship with somebody else apart from his wife. Some men sleep with girlfriends, colleagues, neighbours some even go as far as sleeping with their daughters, all this is a sin in the sight of God. ‘‘It is not acceptable to God, but some people come up with different reasons like their wives as not receptive in bed, or not performing optimally, or some wives are not attractive, so they feel more attracted to the maids. Some say their wives are not well behaved, so they use this to punish their wives, making her know that they can always find a substitute to her.
‘‘But all this like I said earlier is not acceptable to God, so from my own opinion there is really no justification for flirting. As a couple, you must remember that you have sworn an oath that you have formed one flesh with your partner and therefore the more you go in with other people, the more you lose life and you share your body with several other people, loosing virtues which is not acceptable to God.
‘‘I have to go spiritual by adding that for a man to control himself, he must move close to God and ask him to make your wife to always look beautiful to you.Women must ensure that they put in more to takecare of themselves both inwards and outwards and men must learn to counsel their wives. ‘‘Couples who pray together, stay together because when they pray together their lives will definitely be sharpened by the Holy Spirit. For women that their husbands have fellen to sin, the first thing is communication talk to your partner in a loving way to ascertain why your husband prefers your maid to you, with whatever he tells you as a woman you should be able to make amends. But if after communication you discover that you are not to blame for the act, or your husband cannot really justify the reason for his actions, then you have to go on your kneels. ‘‘For men who are flirting with househelps, remember that it is a sin, what you need to do is to educate your wife and make her your dream woman again, remembering the reasons why you married’’

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